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Description: This vlog is my gift to my mother for her birthday, which is, yes, you guessed it, TODAY.
When she watches this, two things could transpire. Make that three:
1) She will be mortifyingly embarrassed and regret ever sharing my blog URL with her friends and coworkers (if she doesn't already). Wait until my memoir hits bookshelves. What will she do then? Yikes.
2) She will outright disown me. Highly unlikely since I'm one muy importante half DNA donor to her precious blondie grandkids three, at least I'd like to think so.
Highly unlikely also because she would miss out on visiting breathtaking Southern California beaches blanketed in clouds of choking smog. What out of town visitor would diss me for good and miss out on that?
3) She will cackle hysterically (okay, mom, you don't cackle, more like delicately chortle. I cackle and Dena guffaws and Aunt Claudette, well, she ... you know how she laughs -- jolly and loud like Santa with a megaphone). Next, she'll pick up the phone and call me across the 3,000 plus miles to congratulate me on being such a zany weirdo mama. Props from one zany mama to another. I truly learned from the best!
Happy birthday, mom. I hoped you like the daisies. What kind of a cheap-ass daughter sends a tiny handful of daisies to her mother for her birthday?
Well, slackstress me. It was the best I could do. Never mind not even sending a card of gift at Christmas. As you would jokingly say, mom, "I deserve ten lashes with a wet noodle!"
Speaking of noodles, remember when cousin Ricky threw an entire boiling pot of pasta against Aunt Connie's wall to check if the noodles were ready? I prefer the more modest version -- thwacking a single strand of spaghetti against the wall to see if sticks. If it does, it's ready.
How many of you reading this right now have moms who always kept it light, fun and easy, even during the roughest of times? Here's to the best, my mom. Bon Fete! A votre sante! Felicitations!
I bet you're really savoring this birthday, mom, now that your ticker is poof, presto, blam-o fixed. You deserve all that buttered up lobster you'll feast on tonight. Just don't forget to wear that funny looking tuxedo lobster bib. You, like me, can get pretty messy when it comes to eatin' stuff we love (and devour in seconds flat).
Love, hugs, kisses and one supremely stiff high five, Kim, SuperMan and the kids three
Ps. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
When she watches this, two things could transpire. Make that three:
1) She will be mortifyingly embarrassed and regret ever sharing my blog URL with her friends and coworkers (if she doesn't already). Wait until my memoir hits bookshelves. What will she do then? Yikes.
2) She will outright disown me. Highly unlikely since I'm one muy importante half DNA donor to her precious blondie grandkids three, at least I'd like to think so.
Highly unlikely also because she would miss out on visiting breathtaking Southern California beaches blanketed in clouds of choking smog. What out of town visitor would diss me for good and miss out on that?
3) She will cackle hysterically (okay, mom, you don't cackle, more like delicately chortle. I cackle and Dena guffaws and Aunt Claudette, well, she ... you know how she laughs -- jolly and loud like Santa with a megaphone). Next, she'll pick up the phone and call me across the 3,000 plus miles to congratulate me on being such a zany weirdo mama. Props from one zany mama to another. I truly learned from the best!
Happy birthday, mom. I hoped you like the daisies. What kind of a cheap-ass daughter sends a tiny handful of daisies to her mother for her birthday?
Well, slackstress me. It was the best I could do. Never mind not even sending a card of gift at Christmas. As you would jokingly say, mom, "I deserve ten lashes with a wet noodle!"
Speaking of noodles, remember when cousin Ricky threw an entire boiling pot of pasta against Aunt Connie's wall to check if the noodles were ready? I prefer the more modest version -- thwacking a single strand of spaghetti against the wall to see if sticks. If it does, it's ready.
How many of you reading this right now have moms who always kept it light, fun and easy, even during the roughest of times? Here's to the best, my mom. Bon Fete! A votre sante! Felicitations!
I bet you're really savoring this birthday, mom, now that your ticker is poof, presto, blam-o fixed. You deserve all that buttered up lobster you'll feast on tonight. Just don't forget to wear that funny looking tuxedo lobster bib. You, like me, can get pretty messy when it comes to eatin' stuff we love (and devour in seconds flat).
Love, hugs, kisses and one supremely stiff high five, Kim, SuperMan and the kids three
Ps. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
Description: 30 second classic television commercial for Buff Whelan Chevrolet.
panty hose girls in Video Tag
Description: Watch the mythbusters blow up a tank using panties
Description: This vlog is my gift to my mother for her birthday, which is, yes, you guessed it, TODAY.
When she watches this, two things could transpire. Make that three:
1) She will be mortifyingly embarrassed and regret ever sharing my blog URL with her friends and coworkers (if she doesn't already). Wait until my memoir hits bookshelves. What will she do then? Yikes.
2) She will outright disown me. Highly unlikely since I'm one muy importante half DNA donor to her precious blondie grandkids three, at least I'd like to think so.
Highly unlikely also because she would miss out on visiting breathtaking Southern California beaches blanketed in clouds of choking smog. What out of town visitor would diss me for good and miss out on that?
3) She will cackle hysterically (okay, mom, you don't cackle, more like delicately chortle. I cackle and Dena guffaws and Aunt Claudette, well, she ... you know how she laughs -- jolly and loud like Santa with a megaphone). Next, she'll pick up the phone and call me across the 3,000 plus miles to congratulate me on being such a zany weirdo mama. Props from one zany mama to another. I truly learned from the best!
Happy birthday, mom. I hoped you like the daisies. What kind of a cheap-ass daughter sends a tiny handful of daisies to her mother for her birthday?
Well, slackstress me. It was the best I could do. Never mind not even sending a card of gift at Christmas. As you would jokingly say, mom, "I deserve ten lashes with a wet noodle!"
Speaking of noodles, remember when cousin Ricky threw an entire boiling pot of pasta against Aunt Connie's wall to check if the noodles were ready? I prefer the more modest version -- thwacking a single strand of spaghetti against the wall to see if sticks. If it does, it's ready.
How many of you reading this right now have moms who always kept it light, fun and easy, even during the roughest of times? Here's to the best, my mom. Bon Fete! A votre sante! Felicitations!
I bet you're really savoring this birthday, mom, now that your ticker is poof, presto, blam-o fixed. You deserve all that buttered up lobster you'll feast on tonight. Just don't forget to wear that funny looking tuxedo lobster bib. You, like me, can get pretty messy when it comes to eatin' stuff we love (and devour in seconds flat).
Love, hugs, kisses and one supremely stiff high five, Kim, SuperMan and the kids three
Ps. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
When she watches this, two things could transpire. Make that three:
1) She will be mortifyingly embarrassed and regret ever sharing my blog URL with her friends and coworkers (if she doesn't already). Wait until my memoir hits bookshelves. What will she do then? Yikes.
2) She will outright disown me. Highly unlikely since I'm one muy importante half DNA donor to her precious blondie grandkids three, at least I'd like to think so.
Highly unlikely also because she would miss out on visiting breathtaking Southern California beaches blanketed in clouds of choking smog. What out of town visitor would diss me for good and miss out on that?
3) She will cackle hysterically (okay, mom, you don't cackle, more like delicately chortle. I cackle and Dena guffaws and Aunt Claudette, well, she ... you know how she laughs -- jolly and loud like Santa with a megaphone). Next, she'll pick up the phone and call me across the 3,000 plus miles to congratulate me on being such a zany weirdo mama. Props from one zany mama to another. I truly learned from the best!
Happy birthday, mom. I hoped you like the daisies. What kind of a cheap-ass daughter sends a tiny handful of daisies to her mother for her birthday?
Well, slackstress me. It was the best I could do. Never mind not even sending a card of gift at Christmas. As you would jokingly say, mom, "I deserve ten lashes with a wet noodle!"
Speaking of noodles, remember when cousin Ricky threw an entire boiling pot of pasta against Aunt Connie's wall to check if the noodles were ready? I prefer the more modest version -- thwacking a single strand of spaghetti against the wall to see if sticks. If it does, it's ready.
How many of you reading this right now have moms who always kept it light, fun and easy, even during the roughest of times? Here's to the best, my mom. Bon Fete! A votre sante! Felicitations!
I bet you're really savoring this birthday, mom, now that your ticker is poof, presto, blam-o fixed. You deserve all that buttered up lobster you'll feast on tonight. Just don't forget to wear that funny looking tuxedo lobster bib. You, like me, can get pretty messy when it comes to eatin' stuff we love (and devour in seconds flat).
Love, hugs, kisses and one supremely stiff high five, Kim, SuperMan and the kids three
Ps. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
panty hose girls in Video Description
Tag:
Description: Panty raid! The happy-go-lucky rock band invades an all-girls school for some totally raucous fun.
Tag: Funny
Description: 2 girls acting crazy with pantie hose on their heads its hilarious!!!
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Tag: rant , vlog , parenting , blog , Dora , the , Explorer , Hello , Kitty , fashion , shoes , TV , advertising , commercials , Cars
Description: Call me a snobby mommy. I admit it: I refuse to let my kids wear a single fake leather smelling scrap of trademarked, tacky cartoon character tattooed gear, including Lightening McQueen Cars crap, Dora drivel and Disney debris.
As Dana Carvey used to say while mocking the first President Bush (when SNL still ruled Saturday night), "Naw gun' duh. Stay the course. Thousand Points of Light" and all the ridiculous rest.
No character apparel. No way. No how. Not ever.
To me, character TM apparel is to kiddie fashion what Kraft Squeeze Cheese is to the fromage industry. C'est domage. Yep, I'm a snoot. Calls 'em likes I see 'em, even when I am calling my own self out on an issue that makes me look like a jerk.
While you're at it, might as well call me a mean mommy. One who just says a hearty "No!" to her kids' persistent, nasal Target shopping aisle pleas for mass marketed, decal decked out clothes, light-up Velcro shoes and mini walking billboard/movie trailer junk in general. (That's right. My trademark run-on sentences are running on and on and on again. Old habits are hard to break.)
Finally, you can call me a hypocrite because I do have one faulty exception to my snooty no-character clothes rule. I do allow my character decal deprived kids to don cartoon character pajamas and underwear. Spiderman and Disney Princess ones, actually.
That way not one suspecting soul will witness them sporting Dora, Hello Kitty and The Hulk alongside snobby mama me in public. As if I'm too sexy for their shirts.
Nice or not, I purposely keep our nighttime TM merchandise marauding our very own dark, mass appeal, sell-out secret.
And I'd like to keep it that way, although now I've totally (over)exposed our nocturnal mass market conformity by admitting it here on my blog.
Then again, aren't embarrassing confessions that humanize/humble me as a real and flawed modern mama what this blog is about in the first place?
If you're Mcmerchandise sell-out happy and you know it and you really want to show it, well, good for you.
As for slightly pretentious me, I'm sticky to the plain stuff.
Take it with a grain of schmaltz, from a thrifty mom who gets most of her clothes second-hand from generous hand-me-down sources.
Dora defying Slackstress OUT.
So, which of you mamas are with me on this? If you're not, tell me about it. I'd like to hear both sides. Do tell.
*Hopefully someone out there in the blogosphere is actually reading this. Hopefully I haven't lost all five of my dedicated regular readers thanks to my embarrassing, over-the-head panty hose pull vlog. I'm still in shock that I actually hit "publish" on that one but there's no going back. My kids ran around like panty hosed robbers half the night after watching their wacky mama on YouTube. Talk abouy cheap AND fun.
As Dana Carvey used to say while mocking the first President Bush (when SNL still ruled Saturday night), "Naw gun' duh. Stay the course. Thousand Points of Light" and all the ridiculous rest.
No character apparel. No way. No how. Not ever.
To me, character TM apparel is to kiddie fashion what Kraft Squeeze Cheese is to the fromage industry. C'est domage. Yep, I'm a snoot. Calls 'em likes I see 'em, even when I am calling my own self out on an issue that makes me look like a jerk.
While you're at it, might as well call me a mean mommy. One who just says a hearty "No!" to her kids' persistent, nasal Target shopping aisle pleas for mass marketed, decal decked out clothes, light-up Velcro shoes and mini walking billboard/movie trailer junk in general. (That's right. My trademark run-on sentences are running on and on and on again. Old habits are hard to break.)
Finally, you can call me a hypocrite because I do have one faulty exception to my snooty no-character clothes rule. I do allow my character decal deprived kids to don cartoon character pajamas and underwear. Spiderman and Disney Princess ones, actually.
That way not one suspecting soul will witness them sporting Dora, Hello Kitty and The Hulk alongside snobby mama me in public. As if I'm too sexy for their shirts.
Nice or not, I purposely keep our nighttime TM merchandise marauding our very own dark, mass appeal, sell-out secret.
And I'd like to keep it that way, although now I've totally (over)exposed our nocturnal mass market conformity by admitting it here on my blog.
Then again, aren't embarrassing confessions that humanize/humble me as a real and flawed modern mama what this blog is about in the first place?
If you're Mcmerchandise sell-out happy and you know it and you really want to show it, well, good for you.
As for slightly pretentious me, I'm sticky to the plain stuff.
Take it with a grain of schmaltz, from a thrifty mom who gets most of her clothes second-hand from generous hand-me-down sources.
Dora defying Slackstress OUT.
So, which of you mamas are with me on this? If you're not, tell me about it. I'd like to hear both sides. Do tell.
*Hopefully someone out there in the blogosphere is actually reading this. Hopefully I haven't lost all five of my dedicated regular readers thanks to my embarrassing, over-the-head panty hose pull vlog. I'm still in shock that I actually hit "publish" on that one but there's no going back. My kids ran around like panty hosed robbers half the night after watching their wacky mama on YouTube. Talk abouy cheap AND fun.
Tag: Mike , Huckabee , Chuck , Norris , facts , Politics , Arkansas , CRF , member , Taxes , Illegal , Borders , GOP , presidential
Description: Ladies and Gentleman... Huckabee "Clinton"++ Huckabee seems to love loot and has a dismissive attitude toward ethics, campaign finance rules and propriety in general.++ He converted a governor's mansion operating account into a personal expense account, claiming public money for a doghouse, dry-cleaning bills, panty hose and meals at Taco Bell.++ He is kind to immigrants and favors state help for college-going children of illegal immigrants. ++ He briefly departed from Republican dogma to suggest to a newspaper in libertarian New Hampshire that, while he opposed gay marriage, he was open to civil unions.++ What about the retarded Fort Smith teenager, raped by her stepfather, who sought Medicaid funding for an abortion as federal law required. Huckabee stood in the hospital door, at least figuratively, to prevent state funding.++ Huckabee's administration worked hard and unapologetically to prevent gay people from being foster parents++ Huckabee doesn't support embryonic stem cell research, he took a hefty honorarium and bulk book sales this year from a diabetes drug maker, Novo Nordisk, which performs embryonic stem cell research.++ He destroyed state records and computer data systems.++ He has lied when there's been no other way around admitting embarrassing missteps, such as his advocacy of freedom for a convicted rapist.++ Huckabee signed a gas tax hike in 1999++ He called for a state sales tax hike in 2002++ He signed a 25-cent cigarette tax hike in 2003++ He publicly opposed the repeal of a sales tax on groceries and medicine in 2002++ He increased state spending 65.3% from 1996 to 2004++ He allowed a major tax hike package to pass in 2004++ He received a "D" grade on fiscal issues from the Cato Institute in 2004++ He called No Child Left Behind the greatest education reform effort by the federal government "in my lifetime."++ He has actively gone after so-called "price gougers" Not only Club for Growth has some pretty damning evidence about this guys fiscal and ethics record, you should also check out these links...He's a "Clintonian" as they come...http://www.arkjournal.comhttp://www.clubforgrowth.orghttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bonnie....http://web.archive.org/web/200707042....http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.... http://www.katv.com/news/stories/0807...
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