Okay, well here's my set from Wiseguys. It wasn't the greatest, but I didn't totally bomb. But to help you out, here's a transcript of my jokes.-How you guys doing tonight?....You know I thought I'd care, but at this point, I really don't. Moving on.Can someone come up to me after the set and explain to me the whole "Two-year old Asian" Joke, I just don't understand.Whew. Right now, I'm a nervous wreck. You see, new comedians, what they should do, is they should put their jokes on a piece of paper. I didn't do that, I put "Be Funny or Die."So I'm a single guy, obviously. I mean, being single is like a prerequsite to being a comedian. Not many guys come up with "happy, healthy relationships."My problem is that I fall into what we like to call "The Friend Zone." For those of you who don't know what that is, it's pretty much a metaphoric sledgehammer to the nuts.It means girls enjoy my company enough to hang out with me, but not to let me get to first base. That joke worked a lot better in Vietnamese I'll be honest.I have some sad news. Recently, I just stopped seeing my girlfriend.....thank you, you guys are so kind....AWWW, there we go, thank you for paying attention.I just stopped seeing my girlfriend, there was nothing I could do about it...she got curtains on her windows. I couldn't SEE her anymore. Gentlemen you know what they say is true. The Restraining Order may say "no," but her open blinds say "yes."What peeves me about "gal pals," is the term "Oh, Shut up." I hate that, because "Oh, Shut up" is a conversation killer. We're talking and you tell me to "shut up" it pretty much becomes a monolouge. So you tell me to shut up. NO YOU SHUT UP! YOU SHUT YOUR FACE YOU LITTLE WHORE! .... now that I say it again, i'm thinking my tone was a little excessive, and the term "you little whore" was not neccessary. Probably why she hasn't called me back yet.Or that I have an STD, but let me explain. I was downloading pornography on my computer and got a computer virus....Pornography....computer virus.It's a little embarrassing because now every time I double click it burns. And Trojans on the internet do NOT work the same way as Trojans in real life.

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