Lyrics:Put on your yalmulka.Here comes Chanukah.Once again it's Onakah.The miracle of Chanukah.Chanukah is the festival of lights.One day of presents? Hell no, we get eight crazy nights.But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas Tree,I guess my first 2 songs didn't do it for ya so here comes number 3.Ross and Phoebe from Friends say the Chanukah blessing.So do Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will & Grace's Debra Messing.Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mix meat with dairy.Maybe they should've called that show, little kosher house on the prairie.We've got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack Black.Tom Arnold converted to Judaism but you guys can have him back. (Just kidding Tommy!)We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe,But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow. (I'm Jewish!)Put on your yalmulka, here comes Chanukah.The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays Harmonica, celebrates Chanukah.Osama Bin Laden, not a big fan of the jews.But maybe that's cause he lost a figure skating match to gold medallist Sarah Hughes. (Her mama's Jewish)Houdini and David Blaine escape strait jackets with such precision.But the one thing they could not get out of, their painful circumcision.As for half Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one.And Marlon Brando, not a Jew at all but it looks to me like he ate one.Gwenyth Paltro's half Jewish but a full time Oscar winner.Jennifer Connelly's half Jewish too and I'd like to put some more in her.There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell, Beck and Paula Abdul.Joey Ramone invented punk rock music but first came Hebrew School.Hey!Natalie Porman-ikahIt's time to celebrate Chanukah.I hope I get an abtronic-ah,On this joyful, toyful Chanukah.So get a high colon-ikah,And soil your long john-ikahs.If you really really wanna-kah,Have a happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Chanukah.

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